


Fade To Black

by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Angst, Gen, Point of View, Songfic, Suicide, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever/pseuds/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin recalls his most devastating yet painful experience in Total Drama he could ever tell. From his rise from stardom to his tragic fall from grace, this story brings you to his side that no one will seem to believe. Based on the Metallica song, "Fade To Black"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade To Black

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything associated with Total Drama, including it's characters. Total Drama is owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. It is also not done for money or profit. The song "Fade To Black" is also owned by Metallica, which I do not own as well.
> 
> BTW, this story takes place from Justin's point of view.

-Justin's POV-

This is a story of my life. Of course, this story was always brilliant in my mind. I entered the world as the finest specimen ever to be graced by my people, who see me. And why not? I had everything going for me.

The finest body.

The perfect hair.

The amazing sparkly white teeth.

And just an amazing body.

And every woman that saw me, I just wrapped them around my finger just never letting go of the incredible excitement that fueled my whole body inside me. I was enjoying it.

That was until I got an offer to compete in a reality show somewhere in Canada. It was a show called "Total Drama Island". This was my biggest chance to spread my popularity over there in the Great White North.

It was there that I soon met my friends that always stuck with me. The first man I ever met was Trent. The man was an excellent guitar player. He knew every song, learned every chord, and wrote every lyric that he could ever come to mind. He was pretty much the only dude I ever hung out with and all. Cody was awesome too. I loved how he could find some kind of way to make himself cool. Whether he was trying to hit on Gwen, or LeShawna, or pretty much any chick he could find, I couldn't get enough of him. Harold was pretty awesome as well. He might have been a super nerd considering his weird accent that he has and his great sportsmanship when it comes to the dodgeball challenge. Not to mention his rapping was kinda hardcore as well, so extra props to that.

But little did I know that I met some amazing fangirls as well. Most notably Beth. I guess you could say that she was my biggest supporter of all time. Whenever I'd go, she'd go with me, whenever it was the woods, the mess hall, or whenever I'd suntan near the beach. She was always there for me. I guess you can say I can prefer girls who look a bit goofy, but can still make it look cute. But I still consider her as my friend-in-crime. Then there was Katie and Sadie. God help me, they we're annoying as they we're. They sound like they could be a dial tone and a air horn combined. No wonder I had to act like my narcissistic self to make those two little same-dressed bats like me. I couldn't stand them as a matter of fact and I just frickin' hated them for it. No offense, but I hope they'd understand.

But everyone else didn't seem to understand about my true nature.

On the outside, I was acting so much like I was carefree. Like I was sooooo much friendly to them and everyone. But on the inside...

...I didn't care about anybody but me. I seemed to get a kick about not caring everyone's about other people's problems. It was always looks and nothing about my looks. It was just the way it is, and things would never change. I just wish that I didn't always about to care my looks, but fate just forced me too. I just wanted to wait until the right time to show everyone the true colors in me. But it never happened. It didn't happen. I was always distracted by my good looks to even cause an impact. It was like I was somehow two-faced.

And then, there was Heather. I just couldn't help it on how beautiful she looked on the outside. That flowing black hair, those excellent facial features, that delicate body and just a seductive nature added to her resume. I gotta admit, she was strikingly beautiful, but not as beautiful as me. I was far more hotter than her and nothing else.

But then, I just realized that in the inside, she just became a very hateful human being. I just don't realize why somebody so beautiful like me could be this so much sinister, so much evil, and so much heartless to everyone who felt her vengeance-ful wrath. She definitely had no right to act like that toward others. This bothered me and my gorgeous body so much that I didn't want to be associated with someone much more deadlier than Eva.

I first experienced this in the talent competition. Chris McLean told the rest of us that the rest of the teams had to choose a lineup of three people to showcase our talents to everyone watching. Of course, being me on the Screaming Gophers. I didn't have to audition. It just happened by chance. It all happened with Beth accidentally botched an audition where she accidentally set a bush on fire with her baton. So being the hero that I wanted to be for the rest of my teammates. I had to rush in the bathroom and find a fire extinguisher somewhere just laying on the bathroom floor. So I picked it up, rushed right outside, and just extinguished the fire out. I had to admit, despite her hateful nature, Heather was very impressed. So she chose me for the talent show.

And I was definitely impressed by what Heather did for her audition. It was nothing else but a graceful ballet dance where she just moved gracefully like a gazelle could ever move in her life. She executed each step real perfectly. I gotta say, I was never the less impressed. If she was definitely on Broadway, I would singlehandedly see it. Plain and simple. But in the competition, she never did that dance that I really liked from her. Her evil side had to resurface for everyone to see.

To be exact, Heather decided to steal Gwen's diary right behind Gwen's back. Having Gwen's exposed secrets come to fruition was just so wrong and so much hateful. I never expected to see somebody who would dance so phenomenally just become so thirsty with such revealing anger never seen before in Heather. That was the moment that I just started to level my anger on Heather. I now had deep hatred for her just like everybody had hatred for Heather for what she did.

Me, Cody, Trent, Gwen and LeShawna all teamed up in order to take down Heather once and for all. But it was also the moment that Heather had conspired my biggest fangirl Beth, Lindsay, Owen on behalf that he was bribed with a piece of cake, and so far Izzy, in which she was the girl that I had a falling out with prior to joining Total Drama Island. I was hoping that Heather would be going home, but fate stepped in my way once again. This time...

...I was the one sent home. I was saddened that I never got the chance to live on the island long enough for me to win. I was saddened that I had to leave early.

And it was all because of Heather. I didn't know what to think of her anymore. I had now thought at her as Public Enemy Number 1. She was never to be trusted under any circumstances whatsoever. And she didn't care nonetheless. She was only here, not to make friends. She didn't care if anyone hated her just for the hell of it. She was only here to win.

And even though I had the deepest hatred for Heather, I couldn't help but watched some of the brilliant trickery that she amazingly pulled off. Causing a rift between Trent and Gwen, which caused Trent to be eliminated, having Lindsay helping her win the vehicle challenge and daring Gwen to eat a nasty toenail or at least drink some shitty water that came from the bathroom. It was so much godawful as if it like we were sent in some third-world apocalypse. This made me realized something.

I couldve been more evil just like her. What if I could have been more evil like her? What if someway that we were all sent back by the hands of destiny again only by some kind of amazing incident that caused the whole entire million dollars to be gone in front of our eyes?

I thought it would never happened, but just like fate...

...it happened.

It happened one day when the all of us were reunited after Owen had won the $100,000 dollars after winning Total Drama Island. It was a blast. We had Geoff and Bridgette making out in the jacuzzi, Trent and Gwen made amends, Duncan and Courtney were finally a couple, and Owen was still stuffing his face full of crapload of hot wings. Well, not to mention that Heather was now bald as a lit lightbulb, so at least that brought some little satisfaction to my face. But me? I was busy acting out my narcissistic act to Katie and Sadie who were staring at me like a couple of sick love puppies.

But when I found out that Owen wanted to give up his $100,000 dollars for a chance at the million dollars, I was alerted instantly. It was gonna be in the form of a nice scavenger hunt. Except the only thing we were searching for was a briefcase full of cash. And everyone us wanted it. So we were formed in teams. Mostly, I now had to be paired up with the two largest air horn sirens in history, Katie and Sadie.

Having them on my team annoyed me much further. So without any reason for my well-being, I had to abandon them in an inside cave full of bears and bats just like the time when they fought over who liked me better. While that was annoying, the plan just worked like hotcakes. Now with me all alone, I was off to get the case, in which it was in the hands of Cody, D.J., Tyler and Owen. Thanks to me just ripping my shirt off instantly, I had Owen finally give the case to me. I was happy for the moment, but then, my crazy ex-girlfriend of a psycho bitch Izzy had to take it in front of my hands. This was just some injustice that was done for the part of me. Luckily, I had to reclaim my briefcase thanks in behalf to Lindsay, but that stupid psycho bitch named Izzy, with some help from Noah and Eva, had to wash me down with fish juice. It was so humiliating. Never again did I ever want it to be like this. Somehow, I was blind because of the fish juice when something began to pull me back. It seems that one of the wires from that parachute seemed to hang on to a four wheeler that LeShawna was driving (because she was trying to chase down Heather with it), and it dragged me along with it. Next thing I knew I was in the water with the rest of the 13 competitors, in which it was Beth, Lindsay, Izzy, Gwen, Bridgette, LeShawna, Heather, Duncan, Owen, Harold, Trent, D.J. and Geoff. The briefcase was now all gone thanks to a shark, in which he ate it up. Seeing this from Chris's standpoint, he ordered a second season to happen. I felt so much surprised, and yet I felt so much excited that I was getting another chance at a million dollars.

This time I was determined to win, but something, something inside me began to change.

It seemed that me being eliminated from Total Drama Island had forced me to snap from the inside out. This time, I was gonna use my looks to my advantage to get what I want from everyone, whether it was secrets or perhaps their darkest dirty laundry that I could get from them. I wasn't gonna let them trust me anyway, and that's how I liked it. Basically, I hoped that everything that I learned from watching Heather would come play. With the scheming and the conniving and the backstabbing, I really hoped that I would get something from this experience.

And it worked for just a little while. In the western movie challenge, I noticed a disturbing trend in Trent. Somehow, he was causing his team to lose in which he didn't want nothing to do with Gwen, as if he didn't want to do anything offensive or defensive against her. Gwen was mad that Trent wasn't playing fair. Trent assumed that he was throwing the challenge because he was getting jealous of Duncan having to hang around her her like some kind of ball hog. I seemed to watch Gwen and Trent just blow up and have a falling out after that challenge. It was over between them, but I wanted some answers. With Beth, Owen and Lindsay on my side, I finally got Gwen to talk. She told me that Trent was throwing the challenge for our team and that she didn't want to associate with Trent anymore. So we decided to vote him off, so in favor for in the next challenge, that Gwen would throw their team with a loss and so that she could be the one to blame in the prison break challenge. So far it was working to my extent, and I could've been more happy of myself. I felt like I didn't give a damn or an ounce of sympathy to Gwen's problems, and basically I didn't really care.

Next up was Izzy. Izzy was back in our team when she made Lindsay become team captain in the war movie challenge. I hated to admit this as much as I did, but I felt pissed that my ex-girlfriend had to choose someone so useless like Lindsay to become leader. Heck, I could have been a good leader to this team, but no... Izzy had to choose the other side of the card. That's why she cost us the challenge. Worst of all, I was brutally injured. My good looks felt so worsened by every second, and I needed so much as a backup plan to get it fixed. Maybe the most insult to injury, Izzy told me that I wasn't 'cute'. That made me very angry to be exact. So using my hair flip to finally win Beth and Lindsay over since they were resisting my good looks, we eliminated Izzy, much to Owen's disappointment since he liked her.

I felt like I was on top of the world, but then all of a sudden...

...Courtney showed up.

It seemed that being left out of Total Drama Action made her very furious and very angry. So as a counter offense, she enlisted the help of her lawyers and forced the rest of the producers to help bring her back on. It was also due to the point where she was insanely jealous of her boyfriend Duncan and Trent's ex-girlfriend Gwen getting a little too close with each other. Although it caught me a bit off-guard, I thought she would be the missing puzzle to my team. With her on control, we finally started to rack up most impressive wins. But the best victory that I could ever have was the sports challenge. I was up in the basketball round against a Screaming Gaffer by the name of LeShawna. My dunk was a lot more unique than the rest of theirs combined. It involved showing off straight to Duncan and Harold's face, and with such excellent revenge, I took the red-haired Pebbles wig off of Heather's head and managed to slam dunk it straight to oblivion. That was perfect payback for having me being eliminated unfairly back at the Island. And Heather, much to my happiness, was sent home. Good riddance for her.

But something mysterious started to happen. When Heather was voted off, I started to become some sort of unfortunate pain magnet. This was never very good for me since I don't take pain really nicely. I had suffered some of the worst injuries that I could ever feel so brutally before. Take it with a bruised face, a broken arm, a damaged chest, sore legs and a totally broken ego. But it wasn't in the hands of Heather. Most importantly, it was in the hands of Courtney herself. To think I was stupid of falling in love with her. I mean, yes, Courtney was more gorgeous than a bald Heather, she was so classy than all the others and yet she was always feisty.

In the fairy tale challenge, she happened to be the princess and I wanted to be the prince. And then again, Duncan felt like he could've been the prince, but in my mind, he didn't deserve to be the prince since they were in prior of having a nasty falling out in the next season of Total Drama. I finally defeated Duncan in a sword fight, but it was more like a mechanical dragon falling on top of Duncan. I finally reached to the top of the castle where Courtney finally stood. This was gonna be my chance to kiss her and to make Duncan rage with such hatred for me in which I couldn't liked it any better, since I know hated him. But how stupid was I. It seemed that it was all a trick that Courtney set up on me. She didn't have any feelings for me. She was only trying to act so sweet just so that he could catch and gut me like a heart-broken fish.

I suffered the most horrifying injury I could ever feel. Everything was broken. My legs, my arms, my chest, my neck, my head, and worst of all, my spirit and my heart. It was the most devastating fall from grace I could ever feel in such a life time. As I sat in the hospital, life I seemed started fading away. And it was drifting my body further every day. It wasn't hurt that I was getting lost within myself. Nobody even mattered that I was gone and no one else. Except Beth in which she had to go visit me. While she told me that I was still beautiful no matter what happened to me, I actually kinda enjoyed it on the outside.

But on the inside... I was still destroyed mentally. No words were ever gonna make me feel better.

And then, Total Drama World Tour came right along. I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to regain my status as the main hunk once again. Having to win over my female fans once again with my smile and my charm, just like it was. But once again, fate stepped in my way and gave my very soul to someone else. Someone else more evil and ruthless than me. Someone's name I never wanted to hear from somebody's mouth again.

His name was Alejandro Burromuerto. He happened to be the son of a famous diplomat from Spain. Somehow, being the son of a famous diplomat made him famous in the teen magazines that made him popular enough to be in the third season. I wasn't gonna let that happen. We had to ride on a bus in which we had to catch up with the other bus which had the cast of a show called "Total Drama Dirtbags" riding inside it. Now I really didn't want to let that happen. But somehow, we ended up in a horrifying bus crash which almost killed us on impact. But what I didn't know now was the fact that we needed to get help, via Geoff. So, I had to agree with his decision to get help as well. So I wen't with him alongside Beth, Eva, Trent, Katie, Sadie and D.J.'s own mom. This proved to be a costful mistake. Chris had to airlift the cast who was left behind in the bus. It was too late to get back. Now I was the one being left behind alongside the group that Geoff had to form. Some help that stupid dumbass gave us. Now I had no choice but to watch again.

Seeing Alejandro pull off some of the most antagonistic stuff he pulled off enraged me as much as Heather did. He almost caused Bridgette and Geoff's breakup when he kissed her. He tricked LeShawna and forced her to unleash his form of anger on Heather in the Slap-Slap Revolution challenge. Courtney even helped him with the Chinese Food challenge for eating some of his food just to help him win, and yet it got her eliminated. But the worst thing that he ever pulled off in my opinion.

Was the fact that Heather was so much attracted to him. Seeing this made so frustrated and angry. Look, even though I never liked her to some extent, I didn't understand why Heather liked someone so secretly like Alejandro. I mean, Alejandro looked too much like me. The same arrogant features, the same antagonistic mind, and perhaps the same charm as I did. Except that he would seduce the most slightest woman that he could get his eyes on. I never did that. This made me so angry that I could never charm Heather knowing that he was the only girl immune to my powers. Whenever I would take my shirt off, she would be turned off by it. But whenever Alejandro took his shirt off, Heather would be all over him right on the inside, even though anyone didn't know that she was attracted to Alejandro and not me. He caused every elimination on there. Harold, Bridgette, LeShawna, DJ, Tyler, Owen, Gwen, Blaineley, Courtney, Duncan and Cody. My anger was way off the charts. I could have caused more than that, but unfortunately, I've only been able to cause three eliminations in Gwen, Izzy and Trent. I was so mad I wanted to punch or hit something.

My anger now started to come full effect in the Total Drama World Tour when Alejandro had suddenly kissed Heather, due to the fact that she accidentally admitted to the world that she liked him. Worst of all, I had to watch it first hand. This drove me to my breaking point. When I tried to be antagonist, I wanted to use my charm on women so that If I can use them to the end, I could finally get a kiss in. But no. It never happened. Fate didn't want me to let it happen. He happened to be the better antagonist compared to me. In the end, I could never get Heather attracted to me due to the fact that I hated her. This hurts me so hard, but yet I was still enraged that every woman in the world was talking about Alejandro. No one was talking about me and my looks anymore. I felt like I was now forgotten. I felt like that everyone had forgotten about my antagonistic efforts in Total Drama Action. It was now about Alejandro. At least Beth was there to comfort me and pat my back for comfort, but it just wasn't the same anymore. I wanted everyone to appreciate my beauty and my honesty. But all the rest of the girls who I competed with all were stuck with boyfriends now. What's worst of all, Beth was officially back with Brady, and now I felt all alone in life, both of the outside and inside.

The infamous popularity of Alejandro rose up ten-fold because he was now with Heather. She was now in his arms and being a little happy despite the fact that he recovered from being in that robot suit.

But where does this lead me? This forced my popularity to hit and sink like a falling rock. My stock was plummeting and it was being dead on impact. I ended so washed-up that every modeling company dropped me. They never wanted to sign a wash-up to their modeling agencies. I was now mad, angry, pathetic, washed-up and just plain useless to everyone. I unleashed out my anger at everyone who made fun of me. My six pack abs were gone. Now it was just a flabby stomach. I now sported a five o'clock shadow which was so unattractive in my opinion. The loss of my job forced me to lose my house and now me and my family were nothing but homeless and living in the streets.

The only place of shelter we only used was an empty room with such a small black and white TV with the rest of the homeless kids and adults who were busy spending time. The only way I could afford money was to become a crack dealer. And with every piece of crack I sold, I got a good amount of money, but it still wasn't enough to buy a house with. I only spent the money on cheap booze, which was weird to be exact. I spent the money on some Jack Daniels and yet it still didn't help me curve my depression and anger. My mother and my aunt drank some so that they could drink their sadness away in an instant.

But it never helped. From what I learned, it forced my mother and my aunt to turn on each other in which to the point that they never spoke to each other. This made me sad that this whole experience was driving this whole family apart and I was still mad.

Three years had finally past and everyone was off to better things. Geoff and Bridgette got married, Trent married Sadie, D.J. married Katie, Beth married Brady, Alejandro married Heather, it was so much the same damn shit I've been hearing about ever since the entire series was over. And it finally made me realize one thing.

I didn't give a damn about them as much as they didn't give a damn what happened to me. And I didn't care less. That was my outside speaking to me.

But on the inside, I felt like my sadness increased with my anger. Somehow, I lost the will to live and there was simply nothing more to give. And now, knowing that there was nothing more for me to feel, I felt that it I needed to end to set me free.

I looked at my image perhaps for the final time. My mirror image revealed to be the perfect image of me back then in my Total Drama days. I'm certain that he was looking at my washed-up pathetic image from his standpoint. He was angry and upset with me that I had taken this path to my life. And he was right. Things are not what they used to be anymore. I felt so deathly lost. My mirrored image was light and the growing darkness inside of me was taking dawn. This wasn't real, bit it was. The type of hell I cannot stand. I was now a mere shell of my former model self in which emptiness was filling me. I was me once before in my life, but now, the Justin I knew myself and the Justin I was inside was gone.

Seeing this as an insult of injury, I opened up my cabinet to find an unclean syringe needle. It was the only way to approach my final exit on this earth. An excellent parting gift to my departure. After all, it was no one but me, and yet it was too late to save myself. Why should I try to be exact?

I could feel the syringe needle go right through my neck and I laid on the bed. Which would have been a final resting place for me nonetheless. After all, I tried to give back to the people for my experience back in Total Drama...

...and the truth is, my experience in Total Drama was the most gruesome nightmare I have ever witnessed and yet with this filling death of mine, my anger, sadness and depression all faded away in an instant. I closed my eyes for the final time and lay dead right on the couch with no chance of coming back to life from this suffering. I was destined to die like that with no one but to care but myself and it was gonna be like this for the rest of eternity.

Somehow, I felt like yesterday seemed as though as it never existed. But with my suffering departure from this earth, I feel like Death was greeting me warm.

And now, since this little tragedy of mine is now seems to be over...

...I think now, I will just say goodbye.


End file.
